God Keeps Calling

Fr Barry Cairns (left) shares the story of his
vocation to missionary priesthood.

A First Call and A Second
The story of my vocation has its parallel in the stories of some of my high-school friends. Some decided to get married as a normal, rather ordinary step in life. Only a few years later did the full implications of their commitment to family life strike home. Then they faced a crisis: for some, they had to decide either to quit, or to restart. In going to the seminary, I chose priesthood in a somewhat similar fashion. I felt that I was called, but I did not really appreciate the nitty-gritty of living as a missionary priest. I too was in crisis: I had to make a decision, either to quit or to restart. On reflection, I think now that the second call was just as important as the first, maybe even more so.

Beginning in Japan
My years in the Columban seminary were enjoyable and I still remember the warmth of the supporting fellowship of staff and fellow-students. They are still my good friends. I was duly ordained at 24 and assigned to Japan. I found the language tough, but I had read somewhere that someone with 'cultural curiosity' could overcome language difficulties and adapt. I did adapt; I still like Japan and find its culture interesting. My initial appointments were in the south, in desperately poor farming and fishing villages. I worked very hard to contact non-Christians. I was full of youthful energy, doing most of the missionary work myself.

Crisis
Then suddenly one day I fainted and was taken off to hospital. I was diagnosed as having beri-beri with muscular problems in my legs. After nine months in hospital I was sent back to Australia as an invalid. I was devastated. I could no longer work as a missionary priest, so, how could I possibly continue as one? You will have noticed that this is the third time I have used the word 'work'. As a young priest I was very work-oriented. I was now in crisis mode - stay in or get out?

In this confused state I visited two of those high-school friends and their wives. They admitted that they had been through a similar vocational crisis. One evening, at the home of one of these friends I was reading a bed-time story to their three-year-old twins. It struck me that they could have been mine. I had to ask myself what am I doing to give life? This challenging question started me thinking anew about the real meaning of priesthood.

The Real Meaning of Priesthood
To help me reach a decision I became a part-time chaplain/part-time patient at a big Home for the Aged in Newcastle, Australia. A 'flu epidemic swept through the home. I was anointing five people a day. Meaningless rubbing of oil on people's foreheads repulsed me. What did it mean? So I studied the meaning of Sacraments again.

Then my heart was hit; a relatively unspectacular hit perhaps, but hit it was. It definitely became my 'road to Damascus moment'! I was 39 years of age when I fell off my work horse. It was then that I received my second, much stronger, call to missionary priesthood. This time I answered with deliberation and joy, knowing what commitment I was assuming. I believed that Jesus is Life and that I am called as His instrument to communicate that Life to others. Many people have remarked that the Japanese word for crisis has a special significance: it is made up of two characters. One by itself means 'danger'; the other, 'opportunity'; joined together they mean 'crisis'. How true for me!

A Journey With Meaning
My life now became a journey with meaning and taste. It is life-giving. After the hospital with its second call I served for 13 years as spiritual director in the Australian Columban Seminary. At 52 I returned to our Japanese mission and I am still there. I have just outlined my main crisis call as a missionary priest, but there are minor calls every day and a major one on average every ten years. (I wonder if my readers do not have similar experiences?)

I look back on my life and find that when I tried to go it alone, I got discouraged and life became meaningless. By 'alone' I mean without depending on the Lord who gives those calls and, together with the call, the strength to follow them.

Above is Fr Barry Cairns along with the scroll
which quotes St Paul "When I am weak, then
I am strong..."(2 Cor. 12:10)

I now work with Christ as His instrument, not as His plenipotentiary. As a consequence, I work with my people, not for them. A Japanese expert in brush calligraphy, who had once been in my youth group, asked me what words I would like on a scroll that she intended to give me for my 50th jubilee of ordination. I chose the words of St Paul in 2 Cor. 12:10 "It is when I am weak that I am strong, because the power of Christ is with me". I realize that this has been the essence of my life as a missionary priest.

Fr Barry Cairns has served in Japan and also as spiritual director in the Australian Columban Seminary.

[Far East Magazine]