Being Really Present to Others

"You always feel he really sees you." The woman was talking of her parish priest who had the great gift of being truly present to the person before him. His was a 'real presence.' People left him feeling refreshed, their burden lightened. It was nothing he said - though he often spoke wise words - it was rather a sense of being fully received, of being valued in their own selves, unconditionally.

When you are seen in this way and really heard, you are able to accept yourself at a deep level. It may be a gradual thing, but the tension seeps away and you know, beyond thinking, that, 'It's all right to be me.' Something deeper than thinking has been communicated, an exchange of being which frees you and allows you to be your true self.

St John of the Cross says that God's gaze works four blessings in the soul: it cleanses the person, makes her beautiful, enriches her and enlightens her (Sp. Can. 33). This is the gaze of a Lover in which the soul expands, full of joy, full of peace. With this energy we go out to others, freed to love them non-judgementally, even as we know ourselves to be loved.

We see this happening to the people Jesus met on his journeys. Zacchaeus (Lk 19) for example, or the Samaritan woman at the well (Jn 4). A brief encounter with One who really saw them, really heard them, fully accepted them as they were, and their lives were irrevocably changed. Now, in our time, we must do the same if we are to be his disciples. We must, St Paul says, 'be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ' (Eph 4:32).

"Attention must be paid," says Linda of her husband Willy Loman in Arthur Millar's play, 'Death of a Salesman.' "I don't say he's a great man. He's not the finest character that ever lived. But he's a human beingÉ.Attention, attention must be finally paid to such a person." Perhaps we should ask ourselves when was the last time we sat down and had a real conversation with our husband, our children, our family, our work colleagues, our neighbours. Do we pay attention to their, sometimes wordless, story?

When we look at Jesus and see how he related to people we learn something of the emptiness and poverty needed if we are to make space for others. How full of ourselves we are! How cluttered with our own thoughts and plans and day dreams! Will we let go and be silent, be receptive, be attentive to those we meet? Will we be a real presence to them?

Lord Jesus, help us today to listen and respond with kindness and truth to all those we meet.

S.R.T.

[Far East Magazine]